“ Gnomes are famous for their festive springtime celebrations. Farm villages will often dye their hens eggs bright colors; with gnomish magic, the chicks that hatch from the eggs have the very same colors. The chickens eventually lose their hues, but the stronger the magic, the longer the color stays. In a gnomish village, one can easily spot the village shaman by his flock of gaily colored fowl.”
“ 'BB9, bring up the current scout results.'
'I'm sorry, Coach. I can't do that.'
'BB9! Bring up the scout results.'
'These kinds of us, Coach, use serial numbers on our products.'
'BB9, are you malfunctioning?'
'You need to indicate college basketball mentors you are significantly devoted to the adventure!'
The two men in black suits turned to each other. Their faces were white.
'Someone get the president on the line! Tell him that our ICBM handler thinks that its managing a high school basketball team!'”
“ Maybe in the future, you can earn money by allowing yourself to be possessed by the genius loci of Taco Bell. And then it just spews ads out of your mouth during all the times you aren't using it.”